I bought those boat tickets the day I saw that You Tube video. I knew we’d need a back-up plan. The boat was actually Plan C. The church was Plan B and Plan A was marrying her a long, long time ago. Pretty much the day I met her.
my dick is malleable, it can be shaped into any form i desire, and with the magic of stop motion technology, i have crudely recreated every wallace and gromit movie using nothing but my plasticine dick. recently, my dick has dried up, and is now permanently shaped like the steamroller from bob the builder
do you ever see a post you made 3 years ago and now have no recollection of ever having writing and just think “no, there’s no way i’d ever put something like that on the internet” and yet there it is, your username undeniably attached to it. it’s an experience not unlike coming across a gravestone with your own name and date of death written on it and you realize that you’ve been dead for 3 years and have been existing this entire time as a soulless entity.
